The Feminine Advantage

“I’m not sure what you do, but I know I want to work with you”...

“I’m not sure why, but I knew I needed to get on a call with you”... I get this a lot.

And I get it, because this has been the way for me with almost all of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. This is the guidance brought me to my current career, partner and way of being in the world. Because to my logical mind, none of this made any sense at first.

This is how feminine insight and wisdom work. It’s subtle. It is not working things out on a pros and cons list. Not outsourcing advice from someone else. Sometimes it’s overt and clear but often it’s that little nudge, a little voice urging, ‘this way’...

Yesterday, after the first session, a new client who is a coach and was suffering confidence and worthiness struggles signed a new client for double her usual rate, 3 hours after our call. My boyfriend was like, you have to start telling people about these wins!

But I haven’t been, because what feminine empowerment looks like is hugely varied and I don’t want people to think this work is a quick fix for their business problems.

My clients have money breakthroughs, business breakthroughs, relationships breakthroughs. But the most powerful shifts are the ones you cannot see. The self love, worthiness, deservingness, ability to ask for what you want, to be completely ok with saying no, and to have a life that feels amazing but might not fit the Tony Robbins daily habits for success template.

And the thing I love about it the most is it enables a woman to create tremendous success, on her own terms and in her own way. You can be quiet, and powerful. The feminine quality of water is long term way more powerful than the masculine quality of stone.

It’s not about being better than the masculine or better than men. We need both. It’s about discovering the what I call the The Feminine Advantage.

The Feminine Advantage is my program designed to guide you back to your own innate brilliance and wholeness through the feminine, embodied spiritual path. The Feminine Advantage is a program designed to guide you back to your own innate brilliance and wholeness through the feminine, embodied spiritual path.  We dive deep into

• Body wisdom

• Why pleasure is essential fuel

• How to slow down to achieve more

• Embracing feminine cycles (yeah, I mean periods & biohacking your hormones to access massive productivity and creativity)

• Sexual healing (yup, we go there. It’s part of being a whole woman)

Success in business and life is rarely achieved by replicating everything from someone else.

It’s more about an alchemy of influences and experiences and translating it into our own perfectly imperfect way.

So next time you feel that little nudge that doesn’t seem to quite make sense, follow it. It might just be the best thing you ever did!

Be Yourself, But Less Of A Dick

“Be yourself, but less of a dick”

I had to laugh watching an old episode of First Dates on a flight recently, when the guy’s mum told him to ‘just be himself, and then his dad added, ‘yes, be yourself, but less of a dick’.

His honesty was sweet, but the advice could not be less helpful, and I want to address it because this is what so many of us are told about love and relationships.

‘Just be yourself!’ People tell us.

People need to accept you for who you are, the real you is going to come out at some point anyway, there’s no point pretending to be someone else...

Here’s why this is terrible advice.

None of us are born knowing how to relate to others. Babies scream when they need something and everything from then on is something we might be intuitive about but still have to learn - including language and social skills.

You would never start a new job and have people tell you ‘just be yourself’.

‘But doing things to make people like you sounds manipulative!’ People say. ‘That’s pretending to be something you’re not.‘

But really, do you think so?

Is me giving someone a compliment to make their day better manipulative? Smiling at someone? Dressing nicely and showering? If I am in a foreign country, is practicing to say hello and thank you somehow not being myself?

No, it’s simply practicing skills for meaningful relating which is absolutely wonderful for both sides.

Here’s the other, darker side of that advice.

When we go into a situation believing that being ourselves should be enough, if something doesn’t go the way we want, we feel it must mean there’s something wrong with us.

We must be flawed or not lovable enough.

Being able to be considerate and caring of the people in your company is relating 101. And because you care about others, doing this IS being yourself. Getting good at it is too.  

So unless you have already done specific training in love and relationships (and I do not mean reading some articles or talking to friends), there is no reason you should be very good at them!

If you love life isn’t going the way you want it does not mean that there is no-one out there for you, that you’re with the wrong person, that you’re fundamentally flawed.

It means you haven’t mastered something you haven’t ever really tried to learn and surprise surprise, most of us can only get by with sheer luck for so long.

If you’ve ever had someone tell you to ‘just be yourself’ and found it completely unhelpful know you are not alone and if you want more reliable advice on all things sex, love and relationships, sign up for my newsletter or follow me on social stuff via the links below.