Is it ok to be happy?

Have you ever come out of a yoga class feeling so much better you wonder how you can be the same person as before?

Sometimes, we can be so in the habit of being busy or grumpy that it’s become our default. We find every day annoying at best. We have somehow become married to the belief that life is always a struggle and we only feel happy for short bursts here and there.

I’ve noticed this tendency in myself and my students, and I’ve come to realise that there are lots of reasons we actually curtail our own happiness and contentment. Some that spring to mind are: 

·      Out of habit

·      Comraderie – sometimes when everyone around us is having a bad time, we feel like more a team player or more caring to share the negativity

·      Guilt – we feel bad that we’re happy when someone else isn’t

·      Because we’ve learned to be ‘good’ – good parents, good children, good managers or employees – we show we take our responsibilities seriously by working too hard and being very serious 

All noble intentions but here’s the question, do we really help anyone by making sure we’re not too happy? We don’t have to have to tap dance on the desk of a depressed colleague, but we can learn there are other ways of being connected and supportive of people around us than going down if they do. Truth is, we don’t help anyone by doing this.  

This was really the only way I knew to show people I cared about them for years. Depressed? I’ll cry alongside you to show my empathy. I might even go deeper because that’s how much I feel your pain – even more than my own pain! It didn’t really occur to me that there was an alternative, let alone that by allowing myself to be happy sometimes, I was showing that this is possible, which is good for the people around me. If someone was irritated or challenged by me being happy, maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

As an experiment, for the next few days, let the possibility of happy moments slip in to your life. It doesn’t mean your life will be perfect at all. It doesn’t mean you won the lottery or got a promotion. It’s about noticing the moments of pleasure when you have your morning coffee, or noticing a flower blooming on the way to work. Maybe someone smiles at you on the street or you have a particularly good avocado for lunch.

So yes, you are the same person before and after yoga! And it’s ok to be happy.

Lots of love

Ruth

Who do you want to be?

“Actions express priorities” – Gandhi

Do you ever look back on something you did 10 years ago and laugh at what you were wearing or doing and wonder, what was I thinking?

We humans are constantly evolving and growing and that’s one of the most fun things about life. It’s also something worth remembering, whether you’re in a wonderful moment or a terrible one – this too will pass. It can give us strength when things are hard and help us cherish the moments of pleasure.

One the themes that spring calls up for us is the question, who do I want to be right now? How do I want my life to be? You know you’re on the right path if you feel excited and in love with your life, or even just parts of it – life isn’t always perfect. 

Once we know this we con consider if our actions express our desires. For example, if you want to be calm and focussed, but you’re powering through the day on stress and coffee, how can you tweak you actions so they fit more closely with who you want to be?

Moving back to Melbourne after 8 years away really brought this home me. It gave me a kind of vertigo of where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I am headed. I’m telling you my story so you can see how how it works and how yours might look.

10 years ago I was studying and teaching yoga exactly the way my teachers had taught me. I hadn’t yet found my own voice. I was still homesick from a few years in London and I was working in the organic markets in south Melbourne, getting around by bicycle and quite a coffee snob. I had a collection of novelty socks and especially loved them striped and over the knees. 

5 years ago I was living in Brisbane, teaching yoga a few times a week but struggling with the corporate grind. I was learning how to apply my yoga learnings to my totally different life and learning how to assert myself. I was spending huge amounts of time at the beach, learned to deal with giant insects, and found I didn’t really ever need socks anymore.

This year, transition back. I’ve learned to wear socks again. It took quite a while for me to settle into my new normal. I wear yoga clothes all the time. My office is my living room and my film studio. I’ve tried a few different approaches to business and worked out exactly what I have to offer and to share with the world. I’ve reconnected with old friends and met some amazingly cool new ones.

All of this to say – I am very excited for the future and keep your eyes peeled for some very cool offerings I’m developing for you!

It’s totally possible, wherever we are, so start again in whatever way we need to. Who do you want to be today?

Lots of love

Ruth